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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Five Best: Getting by on their Looks (Ladies)

courtesy of

Let's be honest - plenty of Hollywood types are simply that because they happened to be better looking than the rest of us. Half the time, that doesn't involve talent of any kind. So this week, let's look at the five most attractive actresses without a lick of talent. Or, the five least talented actress that just happen to be pretty. Whichever you decide it is. (and no...Penelope here on the right is not one of them by any means)

NOTE: Don't much as it pains me, I'll look at the pretty boys with no talent next week.

Jessica Alba

Worst Offenses: Valentine's Day, The Love Guru, Good Luck Chuck, Fantastic Four
We were introduced to her on the TV show "Dark Angel" and she has since been making genuine efforts, but falling flat. Somebody convinced her once that she had comic timing - not true. She gave a good enough performance in a film I'm not a huge fan of ("Sin City"), but otherwise has done nothing of merit. It's disappointing, but true.

Jessica Biel

Worst Offenses: Valentine's Day, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Summer Catch
Jessica #2 on the list, we first met her on TV's "Seventh Heaven" as the oldest daughter who never seemed to belong in such a religious family. She broke away and began making mostly terrible movies. Of all the ladies on this list, I would put her closer to an "okay" actress, but she still has yet to truly impress me in anything.

Katherine Heigl

Worst Offenses: The Ugly Truth, 27 Dresses, Killers, Life as We Know It
Any regular reader of my site already knows my wild distaste for Katherine Heigl. Her first big break in film came in a movie that she was the worst part of ("Knocked Up"), then she proceeded to criticize the filmmakers. But, as much as I hate her and maintain that she is an awful actress, she still isn't bad to look at. Good for her.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Worst Offenses: Garfield (1 & 2), The Tuxedo, Heartbreakers
It PAINS me to include her on this list, because she was my high school crush. But, truth be told, she's just not very good. Have you ever watched The Ghost Whisperer? Regardless, even her movies I have a soft spot for (i.e. "Can't Hardly Wait") don't give us any semblance of true talent from this woman. That being said, she seems so nice and pretty, doesn't she?

Eva Mendes

Worst Offenses: The Spirit, We Own the Night, Ghost Rider, Exit Wounds
The girl who brought about this list in my mind, I was inspired while re-watching Hitch the other night. I like Hitch, but she is dreadful in it. Not to mention most every other movie she's in, even the good ones (i.e. "Training Day"). She feels so fake in every scene she's in, like she has phoned in everything from the start. I'd rather watch her fail miserably than a lot of other actresses, though.

BONUS: Megan Fox

Worst Offenses: Transformers (1 & 2), Jonah Hex, Jennifer's Body
Megan Fox doesn't do it for me, but I felt like I had to include her because everybody else loves her. I don't think I need to explain this - not even fans of hers think she's a good actress. Maybe, one day, she'll be the worst part of a good film. That's something to shoot for, right?


  1. Katherine Heigl!? Seriously? Very correct on her having no talent, but she's not very hot.

    My vote to replace her... anyone cast as the female lead in a Michael Bay movie. If you disagree... take a look at his track record.

  2. Joshua "Film Minion" GaulMay 17, 2011 at 4:37 AM

    I think that's why I added the bonus pick...Megan Fox does nothing for me, but apparently everybody else thinks she's hot. Heigl is okay - I wouldn't kick her out of bed....